Sunday, 1 July 2012

Do We Believe In Equality? - Powai Tarang (Rotary Club of Bombay Powai Newsletter)


Do We Believe In Equality?
-          By Vivek V Govilkar

I do not think there are many people, particularly from this group who have not seen any of the episodes of Aamir Khaan’s “Satyamev Jayate”. In case you have not, it is highly recommended that you see these programs on Internet.
Here are some excerpts from Episode 3 (Marriage or Marketplace?).
Aamir shows a video clip. There is a news item about how a man and his armed friends kidnap a young girl from a busy market place. Later the girl is forced to marry the kidnapper. The local police cannot do anything since the girl, who is 19, refuses to make a complaint. She is either too terrified or her sanskaar prevents her from filing a complaint against her own pati-dev.
In the studio, an elderly woman from Bihar, the mother of the kidnapped girl, is being interviewed by Aamir. She says in a trembling voice, “Use dindahade utaake leke gaye.” (They kidnapped her in broad daylight.) Aamir shows a stunned expression. From the audience, an elderly man wipes his tears. Some modern young ladies show a mix of anger, disgust and sadness on their face.
Aamir asks whether they did anything after the kidnapping. The poor old lady explains that once the marriage happened, nothing could be done and her daughter would have no future outside of her husband’s house as per the unwritten community rules.
More display of emotions from the audience.
OK, this is NOT how it happened in the 3rd episode.
Instead, a young man was interviewed by Aamir. Earlier the man himself was kidnapped and later forced to marry some unknown girl under a direct threat of violence. The man even showed a scar on his head which was a result of the scuffle with his kidnappers. The entire agonizing experience of the man was photographed in the presence of many friends and relatives of the girl’s father. Some of these photographs were even shown in the episode.
Aamir commented with a smile, “Aisa bhee hota hai.” Almost everyone in the audience was clearly amused. The entire episode had a few light moments and this was clearly one of them. One reason could be that Aamir explained in the beginning itself that the man was married for last 14 years and the family of husband, wife and two kids was generally happy. Aamir concluded the story by saying that he was happy that the marriage worked out with a passing comment that this kind of forced marriage could not be the solution to the problem of dowry.  
Now it is entirely possible that the fictitious kidnapped girl mentioned earlier in this article, also could have had a happy married life with a loving husband and children. Would the audience have reacted in the same manner to the story of a kidnapped girl?

The villagers from both the girl’s side and the boy’s side found nothing objectionable in the entire story. I have a suspicion the studio audience also did not find anything objectionable. This is with the assumption that sensitive audiences do not get amused by anything that is objectionable. May be the story and its central point did not sink in well immediately. May be because Aamir’s whole presentation of the story was with a constant smile.
Or may be ...., and here is the main point. Perhaps some people find kidnapping of a man for a forced marriage actually funny. I remember a discussion on internet about “sexual harassment at the work place”. The general tone of the discussion was that harassment of a female by a male boss was a real serious problem. But harassment of a male by a female boss was not a problem, perhaps a win-win situation for the male subordinate.
So do we have different yardsticks for a problem depending upon who the victim is? Granted, the impact of the same crime could be vastly different depending upon the victim. But can it be so different that in case of a male victim, we find the crime amusing?
This is not to criticize Satyamev Jayate. I think it is a great show and a must watch. This is just to check if we are willing to look at an issue in all the depth and seriousness. In the fast changing and extremely complex world, are we happy to go along with the old stereotypes?  

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